








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 391 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2253 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3866 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3388 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2440 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,004,904 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waLnut | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | CRU_ | 47% | 204 |
| #3 | MrHuman/Dancer | 44% | 403 |
| #4 | Lyx | 41% | 198 |
| #5 | QSX_Monotox | 41% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waLnut | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | CRU_ | 47% | 204 |
| #3 | MrHuman/Dancer | 44% | 403 |
| #4 | Lyx | 41% | 198 |
| #5 | QSX_Monotox | 41% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrHuman/Dancer | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Lyx | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | CRU_ | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | QSX_Monotox | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | waLnut | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CRU_ | 701 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | MrHuman/Dancer | 606 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| #3 | QSX_Monotox | 598 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #4 | Lyx | 392 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | waLnut | 89 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waLnut | +4.28 | 89 | 66 |
| #2 | CRU_ | +1.64 | 74 | 73 |
| #3 | azzuro | -0.01 | 34 | 57 |
| #4 | MrHuman/Dancer | -0.81 | 32 | 70 |
| #5 | QSX_Monotox | -2.07 | 19 | 70 |





