








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1052 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 364 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9941 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7836 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8849 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7330 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,816,801 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 821 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sami | 53% | 418 |
| #2 | Kylmä äijä | 52% | 112 |
| #3 | 真島 吾朗 | 52% | 66 |
| #4 | Aleksi | 50% | 637 |
| #5 | TuMe? | 48% | 585 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Aleksi | 50% | 637 |
| #5 | TuMe? | 48% | 585 |
| #6 | LENNU | 48% | 277 |
| #7 | TheRealWhiteCrakker | 42% | 110 |
| #8 | Yaa | 41% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuMe? | 32 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | LENNU | 18 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Sami | 16 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | 真島 吾朗 | 11 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | Aleksi | 9 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sami | 1078 | 0.13 | 26 min |
| #2 | Aleksi | 934 | 0.07 | 25 min |
| #3 | LENNU | 590 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | TuMe? | 448 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #5 | Yaa | 258 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleksi | +1.86 | 61 | 68 |
| #2 | Sami | +1.07 | 58 | 70 |
| #3 | KetamineAddictedSentientFrog | +0.34 | 73 | 57 |
| #4 | TuMe? | +0.18 | 60 | 48 |
| #5 | Kylmä äijä | +0.09 | 58 | 55 |





