








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1152 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1420 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1175 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 986 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 967 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,520 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lussac | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Olivia | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Hello, Im Mercenary | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | y1FaNn | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | magicGJ | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olivia | 445 | 0.30 | 11 min |
| #2 | Hello, Im Mercenary | 290 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | Lussac | 133 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | T0ufu | 63 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | y1FaNn | 58 | 0.15 | 1 min |





