








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1843 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3149 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4286 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2991 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,950,789 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evil_fingA | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | BonZo. | 54% | 144 |
| #3 | FlockwGlock | 51% | 197 |
| #4 | W☺ødy² | 51% | 122 |
| #5 | ✘ D3r!ck0 ツ | 49% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brö | 21 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | BonZo. | 18 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | W☺ødy² | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | FlockwGlock | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ✘ D3r!ck0 ツ | 7 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BonZo. | 824 | 0.27 | 28 min |
| #2 | W☺ødy² | 734 | 0.28 | 21 min |
| #3 | FlockwGlock | 501 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #4 | ✘ D3r!ck0 ツ | 413 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #5 | pluebaer | 139 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BonZo. | +2.84 | 42 | 90 |
| #2 | ✘ D3r!ck0 ツ | +1.22 | 42 | 84 |
| #3 | W☺ødy² | +0.89 | 52 | 76 |
| #4 | Evil_fingA | +0.52 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | Bukki | +0.09 | 66 | 60 |





