








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,955 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 201 | 7% |
| Smokes | 1017 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 860 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 877 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $164,405 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zuhbat | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Cleaner | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | eHEL #dudes | 57% | 94 |
| #4 | Richard! | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | MattR | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zuhbat | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Cleaner | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | eHEL #dudes | 57% | 94 |
| #4 | Richard! | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | MattR | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eHEL #dudes | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Richard! | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eHEL #dudes | 114 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Cleaner | 74 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | MattR | 67 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Richard! | 25 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zuhbat | 5 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MattR | +4.36 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | eHEL #dudes | +3.79 | 63 | 59 |
| #3 | Cleaner | +2.21 | 34 | 69 |
| #4 | Zuhbat | +0.82 | 53 | 39 |
| #5 | Thunder Thighs | -3.01 | 19 | 35 |





