








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 22 | 7% |
| Smokes | 90 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 131 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 76 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,838 of utility $22 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cleaner | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Thunder Thighs | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | eHEL #dudes | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | Richard! | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cleaner | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Thunder Thighs | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | eHEL #dudes | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | Richard! | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cleaner | 15 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #2 | eHEL #dudes | 10 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | Thunder Thighs | 5 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Richard! | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cleaner | +5.81 | 43 | 73 |
| #2 | eHEL #dudes | +3.46 | 59 | 51 |
| #3 | Zuhbat | +1.21 | 48 | 32 |
| #4 | Thunder Thighs | -1.34 | 31 | 23 |
| #5 | Richard! | -2.69 | 19 | 55 |





