








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2827 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2841 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2014 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2910 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $699,825 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turpajunkkeri 2000 | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Nutzqu | 72% | 29 |
| #3 | JnY | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | Rage | 53% | 138 |
| #5 | Masley | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rage | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Kyssi Kenguru | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Cobb | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Masley | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Chroxer | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chroxer | 211 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | JnY | 168 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #3 | marbullaa | 167 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | gnomison | 139 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #5 | g̴̡͗o̷̡̎d̵̳̒ ̷̨͋ọ̶͆ḟ̸̻ ̷a̷gony | 119 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaba | +3.52 | 72 | 69 |
| #2 | JnY | +2.41 | 58 | 80 |
| #3 | g̴̡͗o̷̡̎d̵̳̒ ̷̨͋ọ̶͆ḟ̸̻ ̷a̷gony | +1.93 | 76 | 70 |
| #4 | Chroxer | +1.35 | 76 | 68 |
| #5 | Nutzqu | +1.22 | 77 | 43 |





