








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1393 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2113 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1840 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1877 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $620,437 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nutzqu | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | onnihoo | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | marbullaa | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | QPOPPIS | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | Turpajunkkeri 2000 | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaba | 379 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | JnY | 217 | 0.33 | 7 min |
| #3 | Masley | 167 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Chroxer | 92 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Philips leivänpaahdin HD2628/20 | 85 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaba | +3.17 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | JnY | +1.93 | 62 | 79 |
| #3 | Rage | +1.74 | 87 | 58 |
| #4 | Chroxer | +1.70 | 78 | 70 |
| #5 | onnihoo | +1.60 | 79 | 57 |





