










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
744 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 337 | 12% |
| Smokes | 854 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 745 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 762 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $464,500 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mairou | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | niko#8 | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | fili #huo † 🤏 | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | H3NAAZ | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | LDLD | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeseitäsjutus | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Jesse. | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Kurikka | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | mairou | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | North | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | jeseitäsjutus | 55 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kurikka | 38 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | mairou | 30 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jesse. | 28 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeseitäsjutus | +2.87 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | Jesse Salo | +2.38 | 59 | 67 |
| #3 | fili #huo † 🤏 | +2.15 | 69 | 64 |
| #4 | LDLD | +2.07 | 81 | 74 |
| #5 | Jesse. | +1.97 | 71 | 66 |





