








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3960 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3109 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4273 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3424 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,292,629 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dihoky | 81% | 32 |
| #2 | 𝓡𝗘𝕸 | 72% | 29 |
| #3 | Yves | 71% | 142 |
| #4 | daunty | 64% | 166 |
| #5 | Gentle Wife Beater | 63% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yves | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | daunty | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Gojo | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Gentle Wife Beater | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | MilkywayB♡(>ᴗ•) | 3 | 0.0012 |





