








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 813 | 37% |
| Smokes | 479 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 575 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 335 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $357,094 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anon Faith | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | S1mple Black Boy | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | Poosycat | 48% | 91 |
| #4 | John | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | CyborgAFK | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anon Faith | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | S1mple Black Boy | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | Poosycat | 48% | 91 |
| #4 | John | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | CyborgAFK | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S1mple Black Boy | 7 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Poosycat | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | CyborgAFK | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Anon Faith | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poosycat | 319 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | John | 77 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #3 | CyborgAFK | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Anon Faith | 37 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | S1mple Black Boy | 22 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mason | +3.17 | 72 | 52 |
| #2 | John | +2.08 | 76 | 78 |
| #3 | S1mple Black Boy | +0.04 | 63 | 49 |
| #4 | Anon Faith | -0.30 | 56 | 65 |
| #5 | Poosycat | -1.83 | 32 | 63 |





