








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 587 | 18% |
| Smokes | 588 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 929 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1128 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $839,523 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mason | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | Poosycat | 54% | 126 |
| #3 | CyborgAFK | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | Anon Faith | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mason | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | Poosycat | 54% | 126 |
| #3 | CyborgAFK | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | Anon Faith | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poosycat | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Anon Faith | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | mason | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | CyborgAFK | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poosycat | 511 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | Anon Faith | 79 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | mason | 75 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | CyborgAFK | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mason | +4.81 | 71 | 56 |
| #2 | S1mple Black Boy | +1.09 | 68 | 51 |
| #3 | Poosycat | -0.57 | 39 | 58 |
| #4 | CyborgAFK | -1.08 | 48 | 64 |
| #5 | Anon Faith | -1.16 | 50 | 65 |





