








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 299 | 16% |
| Smokes | 552 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 869 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 209 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $108,033 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phyre | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | -AVJ- | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Lucas | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | Baby shark | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | Jakob | 45% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Baby shark | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | Jakob | 45% | 62 |
| #6 | big a | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | riis | 26% | 27 |
| #8 | Z-80 | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakob | 17 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | Baby shark | 8 | 0.0428 |
| #3 | Lucas | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | riis | 4 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | -AVJ- | 3 | 0.0190 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakob | 124 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | -AVJ- | 54 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| #3 | Lucas | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Baby shark | 15 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | phyre | 15 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phyre | +6.41 | 83 | 83 |
| #2 | -AVJ- | +5.34 | 97 | 55 |
| #3 | Baby shark | +4.21 | 78 | 51 |
| #4 | Lucas | +2.53 | 79 | 44 |
| #5 | big a | +1.36 | 68 | 65 |





