








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,767 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 306 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1510 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1305 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 646 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,858 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jakob | 49% | 123 |
| #6 | Lucas | 48% | 40 |
| #7 | Baby shark | 45% | 31 |
| #8 | Losmobilos3 | 26% | 27 |
| #9 | Z-80 | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakob | 29 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Baby shark | 13 | 0.0209 |
| #3 | Losmobilos3 | 9 | 0.0169 |
| #4 | [Rotte Records©] Soulja Buus | 8 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Lucas | 7 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakob | 218 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | BOT Daniel | 81 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lucas | 56 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Losmobilos3 | 52 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Alex | 47 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baby shark | +2.67 | 64 | 49 |
| #2 | Lucas | +2.60 | 76 | 50 |
| #3 | Jakob | +1.69 | 64 | 55 |
| #4 | BOT Daniel | +1.52 | 51 | 68 |
| #5 | riis | +0.12 | 59 | 35 |





