








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,763 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 642 | 36% |
| Smokes | 317 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 448 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 356 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $299,271 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TJay | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | pigmy7 | 74% | 19 |
| #3 | rowan | 71% | 24 |
| #4 | SilverySoul | 71% | 34 |
| #5 | Wizz | 65% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Audra | 60% | 5 |
| #8 | FreakForLove | 57% | 23 |
| #9 | Tobo :) | 43% | 7 |
| #10 | Milkyydun: Cheese Enjoyer | 25% | 12 |
| #11 | лапочка *no monitor* | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SilverySoul | 10 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | FreakForLove | 5 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | rowan | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Wizz | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | SpaceSanctum | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rowan | 159 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| #2 | Wizz | 91 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | SpaceSanctum | 68 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | SilverySoul | 65 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | FreakForLove | 63 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TJay | +5.48 | 67 | 88 |
| #2 | Wizz | +3.85 | 71 | 80 |
| #3 | biba | +3.45 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | лапочка *no monitor* | +2.05 | 75 | 94 |
| #5 | rowan | +1.37 | 63 | 91 |





