








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2625 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2652 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2779 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1991 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $655,014 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | O l d G r a v y | 85% | 20 |
| #2 | smokey nagata ඞ | 77% | 26 |
| #3 | Toshii :> | 61% | 83 |
| #4 | Penumbra | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | Flown | 54% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flown | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Screbsy | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Toshii :> | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | aj | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Brummen | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flown | 295 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Toshii :> | 161 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | aj | 157 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | Screbsy | 121 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Brummen | 92 | 0.17 | 2 min |





