








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 209 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1638 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2600 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 454 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 1710 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $854,636 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krzyz | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Biotic | 73% | 41 |
| #3 | https://www.twitch.tv/maz1ky0y0 | 67% | 39 |
| #4 | CompleX | 65% | 23 |
| #5 | Tuke | 65% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ShaanTheMan | 60% | 45 |
| #12 | Mantissa | 55% | 29 |
| #13 | ryAn | 53% | 17 |
| #14 | Marluxia | 50% | 20 |
| #15 | Dynasty | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mana | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Br0ken | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ShaanTheMan | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Biotic | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | https://www.twitch.tv/maz1ky0y0 | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biotic | 131 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mantissa | 118 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Br0ken | 98 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | ShaanTheMan | 80 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mana | 77 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Incipiens | +2.79 | 61 | 66 |
| #2 | ShaanTheMan | +1.85 | 91 | 57 |
| #3 | https://www.twitch.tv/maz1ky0y0 | +1.76 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | Krzyz | +1.69 | 76 | 67 |
| #5 | Sundis | +1.27 | 86 | 57 |





