








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 807 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 467 matches | ||
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4037 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6231 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5430 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5823 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,692,172 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jetzen | 69% | 42 |
| #2 | Lee | 58% | 89 |
| #3 | dude. | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | Christ3x | 53% | 99 |
| #5 | Reyshion | 52% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Showa. #Koi | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ParaT0Ks'JamaisVu | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Reyshion | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Christ3x | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Lee | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reyshion | 761 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | Christ3x | 376 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | moondog | 293 | 0.36 | 8 min |
| #4 | Elvie | 222 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Lee | 212 | 0.11 | 6 min |





