








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 676 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 325 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,048 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1848 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1674 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2080 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2446 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,503,485 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Anax | 62% | 90 |
| #7 | 𝓐𝓽𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓴 | 60% | 30 |
| #8 | Stunna | 57% | 84 |
| #9 | Dean Gill Berry | 55% | 38 |
| #10 | Nessa | 46% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carti-kun | 22 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Sketch | 14 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | hirix | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Anax | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Stunna | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hirix | 567 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Sketch | 419 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | Anax | 356 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | Stunna | 325 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #5 | Vicious | 268 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hirix | +2.29 | 87 | 46 |
| #2 | Carti-kun | +1.65 | 89 | 44 |
| #3 | 𝓐𝓽𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓴 | +1.47 | 84 | 54 |
| #4 | Sketch | +1.28 | 68 | 66 |
| #5 | Anax | +1.07 | 86 | 54 |





