








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 624 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2136 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,110 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2115 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2144 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2497 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2354 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,558 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 715 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pelogan | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | pandovisk | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | кคzย-- | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | ✪ Lé | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | SPAN1SH | 65% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ted Mosby | 15 | 0.0211 |
| #2 | Hummmm | 10 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | AshFxLL | 4 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | lag_404 | 4 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | DaN | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hummmm | 248 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | DaN | 220 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ted Mosby | 118 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | insani | 85 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | lag_404 | 65 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | кคzย-- | +2.67 | 67 | 65 |
| #2 | EmersonShawty | +2.04 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | insani | +1.21 | 56 | 64 |
| #4 | Hummmm | +1.05 | 77 | 51 |
| #5 | मालिक | +0.96 | 48 | 62 |





