








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,470 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5800 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4353 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3635 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3682 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $640,749 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 251 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | кคzย-- | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | 〄Lucido | 57% | 40 |
| #3 | pelogan | 56% | 55 |
| #4 | PIПKYツ | 56% | 73 |
| #5 | DUGUI | 55% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | pandovisk | 42% | 33 |
| #13 | hero | 42% | 24 |
| #14 | Wagnerzera | 41% | 39 |
| #15 | मालिक | 39% | 23 |
| #16 | facetoface; | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DUGUI | 21 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | DaN | 18 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | EmersonShawty | 15 | 0.0173 |
| #4 | PIПKYツ | 12 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | FER | 4 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaN | 669 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #2 | m8c | 306 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | 〄Lucido | 218 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | DUGUI | 176 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | FER | 174 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EmersonShawty | +3.44 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | кคzย-- | +2.16 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | ✪ Lé | +1.18 | 67 | 69 |
| #4 | DaN | +1.17 | 58 | 67 |
| #5 | lag_404 | +0.91 | 79 | 63 |





