








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,470 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5800 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4353 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3635 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3682 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $361,791 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 251 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | кคzย-- | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | 〄Lucido | 57% | 40 |
| #3 | pelogan | 56% | 55 |
| #4 | PIПKYツ | 56% | 73 |
| #5 | DUGUI | 55% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | pandovisk | 42% | 33 |
| #13 | hero | 42% | 24 |
| #14 | Wagnerzera | 41% | 39 |
| #15 | मालिक | 39% | 23 |
| #16 | facetoface; | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaN | 11 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | EmersonShawty | 8 | 0.0209 |
| #3 | DUGUI | 7 | 0.0126 |
| #4 | PIПKYツ | 5 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | 〄Lucido | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaN | 262 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | m8c | 62 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | 〄Lucido | 59 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | BadDoug | 59 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | pelogan | 41 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EmersonShawty | +2.82 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | मालिक | +1.39 | 54 | 65 |
| #3 | кคzย-- | +1.02 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | ✪ Lé | +0.71 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | lag_404 | +0.20 | 79 | 63 |





