










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 511 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1641 | 47% |
| Smokes | 878 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 493 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 480 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $435,058 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | DaN | 42% | 59 |
| #11 | 〄Lucido | 40% | 10 |
| #12 | Ted Mosby | 40% | 45 |
| #13 | deco_ | 29% | 14 |
| #14 | insani | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EmersonShawty | 31 | 0.0285 |
| #2 | Ted Mosby | 12 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | DaN | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | AshFxLL | 4 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | मालिक | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaN | 316 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #2 | Ted Mosby | 159 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | EmersonShawty | 130 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | AshFxLL | 99 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #5 | deco_ | 50 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EmersonShawty | +3.40 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | insani | +1.82 | 55 | 63 |
| #3 | AshFxLL | +1.31 | 53 | 66 |
| #4 | Hummmm | +1.00 | 72 | 59 |
| #5 | मालिक | +0.77 | 54 | 69 |





