










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 123 | 32% |
| Smokes | 100 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 77 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 88 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $33,710 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jejex | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Underwater Police | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Tukistaja | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | Kännikalapuikko | 100% | 2 |
| #5 | Rasmus Ricekrispies | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rasmus Ricekrispies | 1 | 0.0217 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tzki | 16 | 0.34 | 0 min |
| #2 | Carry Potter | 9 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #3 | Rasmus Ricekrispies | 9 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #4 | BigBicepsLittleTriceps | 9 | 0.27 | 0 min |
| #5 | Tukistaja | 7 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Underwater Police | +11.64 | 66 | 88 |
| #2 | Tukistaja | +9.33 | 83 | 73 |
| #3 | Rasmus Ricekrispies | +7.25 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | penis gobbler | +4.81 | 78 | 57 |
| #5 | Carry Potter | +4.10 | 89 | 70 |





