








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 81 | 20% |
| Smokes | 124 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 116 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 94 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $75,098 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KampaSimpukka | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Tzki | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | Tukistaja | 100% | 3 |
| #4 | Pro Jone | 100% | 4 |
| #5 | chinese sex cartoon connoisseur | 100% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carry Potter | 1 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Ronssonson | 1 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | penis gobbler | 1 | 0.0213 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carry Potter | 25 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | NoxoNi | 21 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #3 | coprama | 20 | 0.33 | 0 min |
| #4 | Piiskaaja | 15 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | Salahurmaaja | 14 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronssonson | +6.93 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | NoxoNi | +6.90 | 85 | 70 |
| #3 | Piiskaaja | +5.70 | 92 | 67 |
| #4 | Tukistaja | +5.67 | 78 | 75 |
| #5 | penis gobbler | +4.73 | 67 | 63 |





