








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 271 | 20% |
| Smokes | 454 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 292 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 342 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $116,827 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piiskaaja | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Pogo | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | Underwater Police | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | mixu:^) | 61% | 56 |
| #5 | Micnic | 58% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tupezki | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Underwater Police | 2 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | choppers | 2 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | Micnic | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Piiskaaja | 1 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Underwater Police | +3.86 | 80 | 71 |
| #2 | choppers | +2.61 | 74 | 78 |
| #3 | Piiskaaja | +2.56 | 88 | 79 |
| #4 | Micnic | +1.84 | 83 | 77 |
| #5 | Woox | +0.92 | 72 | 52 |





