








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 289 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1382 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1138 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 3091 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2722 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $414,777 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wrocław tweaker | 100% | 23 |
| #2 | shift | 91% | 46 |
| #3 | .jib | 84% | 19 |
| #4 | Jimbob | 79% | 28 |
| #5 | Milky Kitten | 65% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Yuri | 59% | 17 |
| #7 | cream | 56% | 64 |
| #8 | operation | 55% | 47 |
| #9 | barrett | 53% | 19 |
| #10 | Paramore fan | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | operation | 12 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | cream | 11 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | shift | 9 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | Milky Kitten | 9 | 0.0189 |
| #5 | .jib | 6 | 0.0173 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cream | 163 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | operation | 154 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jimbob | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Milky Kitten | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | shift | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wrocław tweaker | +7.75 | 82 | 44 |
| #2 | Jimbob | +5.72 | 56 | 55 |
| #3 | Yuri | +3.90 | 55 | 19 |
| #4 | barrett | +3.28 | 67 | 40 |
| #5 | operation | +2.92 | 61 | 53 |





