








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 671 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 200 | 30% |
| Smokes | 220 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 160 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 91 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $96,743 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Argon | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | FISHDISH | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Top G | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | l i l r a m e n | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | TastyApple | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | l i l r a m e n | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | TastyApple | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | ★Emer4ld | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | Gu14g | 25% | 4 |
| #8 | meoracle | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meoracle | 1 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TastyApple | 21 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | l i l r a m e n | 13 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #3 | meoracle | 9 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Top G | 6 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Argon | 6 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FISHDISH | +4.70 | 83 | 26 |
| #2 | Argon | +3.80 | 65 | 76 |
| #3 | l i l r a m e n | +3.45 | 75 | 33 |
| #4 | TastyApple | +1.43 | 80 | 55 |
| #5 | F r o s t y ツ | +0.63 | 77 | 59 |





