








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 373 | 14% |
| Smokes | 781 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 571 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 949 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,861 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diana | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Top G | 54% | 59 |
| #3 | TastyApple | 52% | 61 |
| #4 | Argon | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | F r o s t y ツ | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | TastyApple | 52% | 61 |
| #4 | Argon | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | F r o s t y ツ | 41% | 17 |
| #6 | Gu14g | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | meoracle | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meoracle | 6 | 0.0165 |
| #2 | TastyApple | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Argon | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Gu14g | 2 | 0.0119 |
| #5 | F r o s t y ツ | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TastyApple | 119 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Top G | 99 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Argon | 75 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | F r o s t y ツ | 55 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Diana | 34 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | l i l r a m e n | +1.49 | 75 | 33 |
| #2 | TastyApple | +1.16 | 87 | 42 |
| #3 | Top G | +0.11 | 64 | 51 |
| #4 | Argon | +0.06 | 58 | 50 |
| #5 | F r o s t y ツ | +0.04 | 76 | 64 |





