








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 863 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 696 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5827 | 24% |
| Smokes | 10206 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 2648 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 6070 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,546,130 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 667 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SoapyTitties ( . )Y( . ) | 51% | 137 |
| #2 | KnoScape | 49% | 684 |
| #3 | Dumpster Kid | 49% | 133 |
| #4 | AdamDansTaTeuch | 48% | 58 |
| #5 | Moose | 48% | 262 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Moose | 48% | 262 |
| #6 | tj_dobson | 47% | 83 |
| #7 | SLINK | 46% | 140 |
| #8 | костоглотов | 45% | 282 |
| #9 | jalbee86 | 43% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KnoScape | 22 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | костоглотов | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Moose | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Dumpster Kid | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | SLINK | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moose | 824 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | KnoScape | 539 | 0.04 | 12 min |
| #3 | костоглотов | 537 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #4 | Dumpster Kid | 380 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | SLINK | 334 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KnoScape | +1.31 | 38 | 35 |
| #2 | Get Off My Boat | +0.50 | 57 | 48 |
| #3 | Dumpster Kid | -0.10 | 50 | 62 |
| #4 | Moose | -0.59 | 41 | 57 |
| #5 | SLINK | -0.67 | 48 | 54 |





