










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2973 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1596 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 150 matches | ||
| Wingman | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 221 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




99 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
16198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7281 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7309 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6359 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4614 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,525,514 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2399 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HotPocket | 54% | 158 |
| #2 | Butt Pirate | 53% | 164 |
| #3 | tj_dobson | 52% | 290 |
| #4 | Moose | 52% | 768 |
| #5 | SLINK | 51% | 308 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Get Off My Boat | 44 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | jalbee86 | 29 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Moose | 28 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | tj_dobson | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | костоглотов | 10 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moose | 2522 | 0.16 | 51 min |
| #2 | Get Off My Boat | 1223 | 0.09 | 24 min |
| #3 | SLINK | 813 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #4 | костоглотов | 734 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #5 | Gradey Dick | 356 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KnoScape | +2.20 | 37 | 35 |
| #2 | HotPocket | +1.62 | 60 | 40 |
| #3 | Get Off My Boat | +0.71 | 59 | 49 |
| #4 | Moose | -0.02 | 43 | 57 |
| #5 | SLINK | -0.12 | 44 | 56 |





