








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,493 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1783 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1872 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1904 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1934 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $787,051 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CreamiBoi | 70% | 43 |
| #2 | crypse | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | KHORAVAR | 56% | 142 |
| #4 | Crowo | 52% | 133 |
| #5 | Balista | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Balista | 52% | 29 |
| #6 | Sludge | 52% | 66 |
| #7 | Tusty | 50% | 153 |
| #8 | frames | 44% | 43 |
| #9 | keldeo | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sludge | 20 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | Tusty | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | KHORAVAR | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | frames | 8 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | CreamiBoi | 6 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crowo | 201 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | KHORAVAR | 145 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | CreamiBoi | 84 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | keldeo | 70 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | frames | 64 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CreamiBoi | +2.92 | 34 | 43 |
| #2 | keldeo | +2.42 | 69 | 54 |
| #3 | crypse | +1.52 | 58 | 46 |
| #4 | KHORAVAR | +1.44 | 46 | 37 |
| #5 | frames | +1.43 | 54 | 54 |





