








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1339 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2064 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1785 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1107 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1358 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $383,670 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WaR-CrAzY | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | Brucemand - Petomoodi | 88% | 8 |
| #3 | ✪ AleXi | 73% | 15 |
| #4 | Havebeard | 59% | 51 |
| #5 | Mumle | 54% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mumle | 54% | 83 |
| #6 | Laust Satriani | 53% | 72 |
| #7 | jin | 52% | 77 |
| #8 | BlaCK^ | 49% | 70 |
| #9 | rüsti | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Havebeard | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | jin | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Laust Satriani | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | ✪ AleXi | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | WaR-CrAzY | 1 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlaCK^ | 347 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | Havebeard | 168 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Laust Satriani | 150 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | jin | 90 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mumle | 83 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brucemand - Petomoodi | +1.92 | 41 | 47 |
| #2 | jin | +1.90 | 69 | 57 |
| #3 | ✪ AleXi | +1.49 | 80 | 53 |
| #4 | WaR-CrAzY | +1.16 | 50 | 34 |
| #5 | SqueakyShoes | +0.32 | 53 | 80 |





