








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
853 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 811 | 21% |
| Smokes | 933 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1309 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 752 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $215,232 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eren | 57% | 51 |
| #2 | -MΞ₲Ø- | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Z.yroS | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | Il formaggio | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Le Scuw | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | -MΞ₲Ø- | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Z.yroS | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | Il formaggio | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Le Scuw | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | 脅威 | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Il formaggio | 9 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | Z.yroS | 8 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | eren | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | -MΞ₲Ø- | 1 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eren | 232 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Il formaggio | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | -MΞ₲Ø- | 40 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | Z.yroS | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | 脅威 | 12 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -MΞ₲Ø- | +2.39 | 45 | 49 |
| #2 | eren | +1.00 | 73 | 69 |
| #3 | Il formaggio | +0.64 | 53 | 50 |
| #4 | MrK | -0.13 | 66 | 60 |
| #5 | Le Scuw | -0.61 | 58 | 47 |





