








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 25 matches | 1,526 | |
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
427 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17 | 2% |
| Smokes | 281 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 551 | 52% |
| Molotovs | 203 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $171,715 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BubbaLiCious | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Hovenroven | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | Big Karne | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | PESTO plumsers.cf | 44% | 50 |
| #5 | Unc | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PESTO plumsers.cf | 44% | 50 |
| #5 | Unc | 42% | 33 |
| #6 | pozke | 40% | 10 |
| #7 | ConnyS | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | marvel01c | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PESTO plumsers.cf | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Hovenroven | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Big Karne | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | ConnyS | 2 | 0.0152 |
| #5 | pozke | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hovenroven | 87 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | PESTO plumsers.cf | 63 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Big Karne | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | pozke | 41 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | BubbaLiCious | 36 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hovenroven | +5.32 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | PESTO plumsers.cf | +4.03 | 72 | 55 |
| #3 | pozke | +3.01 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | BubbaLiCious | +0.94 | 63 | 76 |
| #5 | Big Karne | +0.49 | 56 | 62 |





