








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 17 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
140 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 167 | 33% |
| Smokes | 136 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 135 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 65 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $69,795 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fABEY :D | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | BitchPlease | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | Buchtelix | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Cup im Cup #Doublecup | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | Jansteffen | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Buchtelix | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Cup im Cup #Doublecup | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | Jansteffen | 38% | 8 |
| #6 | Gnarf | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | hanneS | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cup im Cup #Doublecup | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | BitchPlease | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Jansteffen | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cup im Cup #Doublecup | 45 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | BitchPlease | 33 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Buchtelix | 22 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | hanneS | 7 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Gnarf | 6 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gnarf | +6.09 | 85 | 43 |
| #2 | fABEY :D | +3.16 | 70 | 74 |
| #3 | Buchtelix | +2.10 | 80 | 61 |
| #4 | Cup im Cup #Doublecup | +1.13 | 68 | 71 |
| #5 | Jansteffen | +0.17 | 27 | 51 |





