








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1088 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 454 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1423 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1789 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 932 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $841,201 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 813 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Rick | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | Ya Boi Bangs | 42% | 104 |
| #6 | Perished Pooch Perry | 42% | 235 |
| #7 | Dead Dog Daisy | 38% | 86 |
| #8 | ReverseTerry | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perished Pooch Perry | 30 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Ya Boi Bangs | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Dead Dog Daisy | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | ReverseTerry | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | <3 :3 Neko Tōjō Nya :3 <3 | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perished Pooch Perry | 379 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Dead Dog Daisy | 215 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ya Boi Bangs | 202 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | ReverseTerry | 185 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Rick | 67 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rick | +5.14 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | <3 :3 Neko Tōjō Nya :3 <3 | +2.13 | 71 | 44 |
| #3 | Dead Dog Daisy | +2.08 | 41 | 40 |
| #4 | Perished Pooch Perry | +1.42 | 54 | 50 |
| #5 | danny-464 | +1.26 | 50 | 35 |





