








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 661 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1236 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1580 | 33% |
| Smokes | 876 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1317 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1046 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,360,128 of utility $263 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 351 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | danny-464 | 48% | 69 |
| #4 | Perished Pooch Perry | 45% | 199 |
| #5 | Dead Dog Daisy | 44% | 54 |
| #6 | whoever hacked my bank pls stop | 42% | 104 |
| #7 | ReverseTerry | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perished Pooch Perry | 26 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | whoever hacked my bank pls stop | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ReverseTerry | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Dead Dog Daisy | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | danny-464 | 3 | 0.0022 |





