








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 894 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 112 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4650 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4915 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2956 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3910 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,042,425 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Svet | 298 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | MooN | 295 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | ⚡MiLK♡TøA☁🗲Vita🗲 | 161 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #4 | 500KG肥佬殺手 | 117 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | gotthejuice | 100 | 0.11 | 2 min |





