








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 797 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 343 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8037 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8757 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7743 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 9675 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,079,724 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 804 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maris | 32 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | вяαтzεпвαявıε | 28 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ∙◦●DR.Lurkovic●◦∙ | 23 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | n i c i | 23 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Reiner mit Headset in Übergröße | 21 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | вяαтzεпвαявıε | 868 | 0.07 | 22 min |
| #2 | n i c i | 801 | 0.13 | 28 min |
| #3 | ∙◦●DR.Lurkovic●◦∙ | 510 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #4 | ☞ฬĒṜฬŌĿ₣☜ | 452 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #5 | Maris | 420 | 0.06 | 11 min |





