








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2431 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1717 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 889 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2083 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $250,348 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malakai | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | stinkbug | 61% | 33 |
| #3 | aggressive homie | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Haze | 51% | 69 |
| #5 | zdm- | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | noyana ♡ | 48% | 58 |
| #7 | swan | 48% | 63 |
| #8 | ▣︎ Rena | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | Iceo LFT | 46% | 37 |
| #10 | c9 Tekz | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noyana ♡ | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | aggressive homie | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | zdm- | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haze | 365 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | Iceo LFT | 327 | 0.38 | 10 min |
| #3 | noyana ♡ | 324 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #4 | swan | 212 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | stinkbug | 184 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aggressive homie | +2.35 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | Malakai | +2.05 | 86 | 56 |
| #3 | stinkbug | +1.27 | 84 | 73 |
| #4 | swan | +1.21 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | c9 Tekz | +0.62 | 84 | 59 |





