








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 613 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 695 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5788 | 20% |
| Smokes | 9136 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 7632 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5971 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,093,989 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [:D:] CryT4x | 22 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Khan | 21 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Magonius | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | [:D:] Klopi ツ | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | D1cki | 7 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [:D:] CryT4x | 1181 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #2 | D1cki | 947 | 0.11 | 24 min |
| #3 | [:D:] Draveax | 452 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Magonius | 406 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | Khan | 380 | 0.05 | 9 min |





