








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 483 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 448 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2551 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3272 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3754 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3705 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,382,148 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [:D:] Klopi ツ | 48% | 62 |
| #2 | [:D:] CryT4x | 44% | 165 |
| #3 | Khan | 42% | 228 |
| #4 | [:D:] Draveax | 41% | 73 |
| #5 | ⸸EdgeBeard⸸ | 40% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | [:D:] CryT4x | 44% | 165 |
| #3 | Khan | 42% | 228 |
| #4 | [:D:] Draveax | 41% | 73 |
| #5 | ⸸EdgeBeard⸸ | 40% | 242 |
| #6 | D1cki | 39% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⸸EdgeBeard⸸ | 15 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | [:D:] CryT4x | 13 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Khan | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | [:D:] Klopi ツ | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | [:D:] Draveax | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⸸EdgeBeard⸸ | 692 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | [:D:] CryT4x | 672 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | D1cki | 478 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | Khan | 237 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | [:D:] Draveax | 218 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [:D:] Draveax | +2.77 | 77 | 57 |
| #2 | D1cki | +2.00 | 72 | 68 |
| #3 | [:D:] Klopi ツ | +0.79 | 59 | 48 |
| #4 | Magonius | -0.32 | 33 | 44 |
| #5 | ⸸EdgeBeard⸸ | -0.89 | 44 | 64 |





