








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 579 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,881 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4483 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3546 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3471 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2381 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $757,694 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 494 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Train-orist | 58% | 81 |
| #2 | HippoX | 55% | 121 |
| #3 | ScotE2HotE | 55% | 64 |
| #4 | Marcus | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | Jahn | 53% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Marcus | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | Jahn | 53% | 109 |
| #6 | JadeX | 50% | 145 |
| #7 | Winters | 49% | 57 |
| #8 | Seb The Baddie | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Winters | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | JadeX | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Jahn | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ScotE2HotE | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | HippoX | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JadeX | 436 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | HippoX | 350 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jahn | 247 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | The Train-orist | 152 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Winters | 122 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScotE2HotE | +2.46 | 78 | 51 |
| #2 | daemon | +2.30 | 91 | 59 |
| #3 | HippoX | +1.15 | 80 | 61 |
| #4 | Seb The Baddie | +0.29 | 77 | 64 |
| #5 | Jahn | +0.22 | 48 | 59 |





