








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1884 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1944 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 273 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 960 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $479,796 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Train-orist | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | ScotE2HotE | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | HippoX | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | daemon | 50% | 145 |
| #5 | Chrissy | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | HippoX | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | daemon | 50% | 145 |
| #5 | Chrissy | 41% | 17 |
| #6 | Jahn | 39% | 28 |
| #7 | MØήEx | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daemon | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Jahn | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | HippoX | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | ScotE2HotE | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | The Train-orist | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daemon | 521 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | HippoX | 82 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jahn | 63 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | ScotE2HotE | 52 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | The Train-orist | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daemon | +3.04 | 91 | 58 |
| #2 | ScotE2HotE | +2.29 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | MØήEx | +1.93 | 45 | 36 |
| #4 | HippoX | +0.76 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | Chrissy | +0.63 | 76 | 41 |





