








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 896 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3451 | 16% |
| Smokes | 9041 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 3778 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5578 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,720,379 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1008 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Mutth Mantri | 51% | 170 |
| #10 | beeHop | 47% | 146 |
| #11 | KA$H | 47% | 86 |
| #12 | _hawK_ | 45% | 60 |
| #13 | Musashi | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anti de sitter matter-1 | 19 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Sicario | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Mutth Mantri | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Pvt_Sapphire | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | KA$H | 8 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sicario | 788 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #2 | beeHop | 658 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | anti de sitter matter-1 | 401 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #4 | Mutth Mantri | 277 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | nope | 232 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KA$H | +2.83 | 60 | 64 |
| #2 | anti de sitter matter-1 | +1.48 | 28 | 64 |
| #3 | nope | +1.46 | 52 | 75 |
| #4 | Elige | +1.25 | 39 | 62 |
| #5 | Sicario | +0.86 | 67 | 67 |





