








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 280 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2385 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3619 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3797 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2145 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,159,217 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matze1104 | 902 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #2 | vitkani | 627 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | Raffel Biceps | 175 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | 3xistinq | 169 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | ScorP | 161 | 0.12 | 4 min |





