








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,242 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 370 | 11% |
| Smokes | 875 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 949 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1048 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $549,485 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 384 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ nKs ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #M&N | 53% | 113 |
| #2 | RaZze | 52% | 77 |
| #3 | ユーノ | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | MrAquilus | 48% | 126 |
| #5 | XavinaGold | 48% | 61 |





