








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,765 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6645 | 40% |
| Smokes | 4847 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3141 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2132 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,048,449 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 783 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ready player 1 | 725 | 0.28 | 20 min |
| #2 | ABC | 650 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!! | 417 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | grimBS | 309 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #5 | MORTYYYYY | 208 | 0.12 | 6 min |





