








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1680 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 476 | 23% |
| Smokes | 611 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 258 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 682 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,632 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ari | 62% | 81 |
| #9 | boygenius | 60% | 68 |
| #10 | minnii | 58% | 43 |
| #11 | bryaz | 50% | 12 |
| #12 | towski | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prakM | 7 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | Diddy Did It | 4 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | ari | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | minnii | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | oyak | 2 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ari | 245 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | minnii | 130 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | boygenius | 117 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Diddy Did It | 97 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | towski | 96 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oyak | +2.76 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | Llamas in Pyjamas | +2.43 | 90 | 47 |
| #3 | prakM | +2.12 | 80 | 55 |
| #4 | Jamie | +2.00 | 86 | 31 |
| #5 | ari | +1.85 | 66 | 61 |





