








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 335 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 210 | 5% |
| Smokes | 1613 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1591 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 857 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,781,571 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 794 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Werbeagent | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | LSReh | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | k3ppi | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | .silas | 46% | 59 |
| #5 | =[Bl4ckF1r3]= | 45% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Werbeagent | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | LSReh | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | k3ppi | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | .silas | 46% | 59 |
| #5 | =[Bl4ckF1r3]= | 45% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .silas | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | k3ppi | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | LSReh | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | =[Bl4ckF1r3]= | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k3ppi | 198 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | .silas | 170 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | LSReh | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | =[Bl4ckF1r3]= | 33 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Werbeagent | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k3ppi | +2.82 | 65 | 72 |
| #2 | LSReh | +0.60 | 61 | 53 |
| #3 | .silas | +0.35 | 83 | 57 |
| #4 | =[Bl4ckF1r3]= | +0.11 | 53 | 49 |
| #5 | Ottchen- | -0.76 | 58 | 31 |





